Katya T.
Active member
Here's something punny!
Если Вы понимаете 80% этих шуток, Поздравляю - Вы не дурак и у Вас замечательный английcкий! Находить ети шутки смешными совсем не обязательное условие...но я всё же хихикнула над парочкой
Puns for those with a slightly higher IQ:
-Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine ..
-A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
-Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
-A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
-A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
-Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
-Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
-When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
-What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
-She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
-If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
-With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
-The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
-You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under..
-Every calendar's days are numbered.
-A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
-A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
-He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
-A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
-Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
-Acupuncture is a jab well done.
-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Если Вы понимаете 80% этих шуток, Поздравляю - Вы не дурак и у Вас замечательный английcкий! Находить ети шутки смешными совсем не обязательное условие...но я всё же хихикнула над парочкой
Puns for those with a slightly higher IQ:
-Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine ..
-A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
-Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
-A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
-A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
-Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
-Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
-When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
-What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
-Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
-She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
-If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
-With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
-The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
-You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under..
-Every calendar's days are numbered.
-A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.
-A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
-He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
-A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
-Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
-Acupuncture is a jab well done.
-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
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